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Stories that you confided to us

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‘I missed my bed. I even saw it in my dreams’

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HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WAR?

‘For me, the war means…’

First of all, these are armed people in peaceful cities.

When did the war in Donbass begin for you?

At the moment when my parents left Donetsk with no intention to return in the nearest time. It was in summer, late July 2014. That moment became the starting point because I realized that something was going wrong and that “wrong” did not let us come back home.

Did you witness hostilities with your own eyes? How was it?

I didn’t see the hostilities as in fact when military actions began, I left for the seaside. I caught the moment when, at times, some thundering was heard somewhere.

What did you talk about with your family and neighbours during active hostilities?

I think the most important vector of our conversations was where we were going to move and how to organize our life in general until it all settled down there.

At that moment, there was a feeling that it would settle down. At that moment, when the perception of the war came, we discussed only one point: how to organize our life further beyond Donetsk.

What do you remember the most from the experience of the war you went through?

Only two things come to my mind: some horror stories that I heard from my acquaintances about the things that were happening on that territory, and the second thing was the fact that I missed my bed. I don’t know how to explain it, but even in the beginning I saw my bed at home in my dreams.

What was the most important event of this war for you?

The relocation changed my life. It has both its positive side and its negative side. Its bad side is the fact that I live not in the city where I was born and planned to live. And the good side is the fact that I have become more flexible psychologically in such situations and can adapt more easily, I think.

I cannot say that the relocation was too traumatic for me. At first, I perceived it as a great adventure because I was still studying at the university at that time. There were lots of challenges I had to go through, including renting a housing, finding a job and all everyday life aspects, when you don’t have any possessions, everything remained back home as we only took the most necessary things.

Do you plan to return home when the war is over?

I am arranging my life outside Donetsk and I don’t know if I plan to return. The likelihood of my return is quite low.

CHANGES IN THE RESINDENT’S LIFE. VALUES

Do you feel safe now?

After those events, after a year or two, I didn’t have a feeling of stability because everything seemed to be normal and then, literally in a month or two, everything turned into something terrible. The result of the abrupt change was that during a year or two after the relocation I didn’t have a feeling of stability. It seemed to me that any disturbance or anxiety could lead to something terrible. Then, it all faded away gradually.

What do you dream about?

This is quite a multifaceted question. I think that for me, like for any person, health of my family members is very important. It is important to have a possibility to satisfy not only some physical needs, but also some spiritual ones, that is to have some financial resources, spiritual power and physical ability to meet all the aspects.

What event since the beginning of the armed conflict in Donbass would you like to forget about (or cannot forget)?

I don’t have such personal experiences, fortunately.

The most striking things are some horror stories about the death of some people I knew. I know that my class teacher, the mother of my classmate whom I know well, was killed.

What is happiness for you?

This is a possibility to think about tomorrow. In the sense that there is no need to plan for survival, roughly speaking, no reason to be afraid. Not to have to make plans for survival.

Has your attitude to life changed because of the war?

Yes, I think it has changed. At that time, when I lived in Donetsk, I was sure that I would not move anywhere. I did not have that ease of being ready to get up and go and the desire to move. And now I think that I can move to any city and I won’t have any discomfort.

Given that you know about the changes in your life that happened during the war what would you do differently if you come back to 2014?

I am not sure if I could change anything. But, perhaps, I would have taken the rallies for Ukraine more seriously. When the unrest began, I know many of my acquaintances who went to take part in the rallies, while I did not have much to do with this. In principle, I was apolitical. I could have taken it more seriously, I think…

What did you learn while overcoming all those difficulties you told us about?

I learned it well that a stable situation is not stable at all.

When quoting a story, a reference to the source – the Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation – is mandatory, as follows:

The Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation https://civilvoicesmuseum.org/

Rinat Akhmetov Foundation Civilian Voices Museum
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