Tetiana Ulyantseva

‘I just can’t stand this war any more’

Valentyna Mykolayivna Bespalova, 65 years old:

Such a terrible old age has come to us when there is no water and we have a war now. They fire, but where do they fire to? They don’t know it themselves.

We have a terrible war. Lord, we did not think, we could not imagine that this could happen to us. We have such a severe shellfire here. About a week or a week and a half ago there was such a heavy shellfire that the entire house was moving. I thought that the windows would be blown out, but, thank God, we remained alive. We ran and hid in the cellar.

The dogs were running around in a group and did not know where to hide. They are so sensitive. We stayed in the cellar for about three hours until it all calmed down a bit. I cannot describe it to you. We stuttered. We could not even talk. We had such a fear that we thought our end had come. We were all shaking with fear.

And I could not take my old mother, who is a disabled person, down to the cellar. I said: ‘Mom, what is to be will be. If doomed to be killed, will be killed.’ That’s life. It is very scary. I wonder when this war will be over. My legs are shaking. I just can’t stand this war any more.

We didn’t have a slightest idea, a single thought about this. We thought it would be getting better and better, while it got worse. Not just worse, but the worst. We are probably in the worst situation. I don’t think people elsewhere suffer as much as we do in our village. Children don’t want to come at all. There is nowhere to take a bath or wash yourself here, there is nothing. It is scary here. Scary to live here.

How do we survive? We wait for the rain and fill all the vessels and containers with rainwater. There is also some paid for water delivered to us, but we cannot take much of that. We can buy some 40-50 litres and that’s it. And then we use it sparingly till the next delivery. So, our life is very, very hard. Sometimes, I just don’t want to live. When I see there is no water and I cannot cook anything or cannot make a tea.

We simply suffer. We have got used to it, but the nerves are shot because of this life. I don’t know how we are going to continue to live. If God does not help us, we are probably done.

We go out for water to the neighbouring village. It is good that we have a car. We put all the bottles and containers we have into the trailer and bring some water. Otherwise, there is no way out. Sometimes my mother asks for some water, but I tell her to wait till the shop opens and I can buy it. There is no water at all, but she does not want to believe it.

Anatoliy Herasymovych Bespalov – 68 years old:

This is the water. Our livestock drinks this water. When it rains, all the water is collected in the well. Vehicles have broken the road. There used to be a curb here, but it was broken. So, it all flows here.

Valentyna Bespalova:

How can you live in such heat without water? The thermometer is in the shade and it shows 38 degrees. It is still not the highest temperature, and there will be 40 degrees. How can we survive without water, dear people? It is better to die rather than to live the way we live.

Here is our cellar. Imagine, 11 steps. How can I take my mother down here? She is 92 years old. It is very difficult. If I stumble and roll down, I will not be able to get up. It will be the last moment of my life. It is good and cold, but it is very difficult to hide in it. By the time I manage to hide, I will probably be hit by a shell.

Here are the shelves. We put some sacks with hay and bring some blankets. We prepare them in advance before we run down here. Our neighbour also comes over. Our cats and dogs all gather and stay here with us. So, if a direct hit happens, we will not remain alive here. So, we hide here just for a peace of mind. In winter, we come here dressed and with winter boots on. We stay here for three or four hours until it calms down. We lie and shake waiting for the shelling to end. God forbid, I don’t wish such a life to anyone, especially in the old age.