Sniharenko Nataliia, 16 years old

Winner of the 2024 essay contest, 3st place 

Valerii Dotsenko Secondary school No. 5 of I-III levels of the Myrnograd city council

Teacher who inspired to write an assay - Pievnieva Hanna Hennadiivna

 

«1000 days of war. My way»

They say that a person's fate is in their own hands. A person is born and immediately receives their fate, their life’s path. No one else can change their life but them. But is this really so? Is just one wish enough?

Personally, I believe that a person can change their own fate. What is happening to me now is the result of a choice I made yesterday. But there are some events that affect our path and change our fate, make adjustments to our plans.

Year 2014, the city of Dymytrov. I am going to first grade. Beautiful bows, a new

backpack and interesting textbooks in my hands. All this makes me happy. I have a new status - a first-grader. But my mom and dad are nervous for some reason, and not only because I am now a schoolgirl. I still don't understand their conversations.

More and more often in the evenings I hear my parents talking about “DPR,” “LPR,” “russian occupiers,” “Lord, save us,” Donetsk airport, Minsk agreements. I am still a seven-year-old girl, so I do not understand the words that come from the TV and from adults.

Only one thing is clear – after conversations on these topics, mom and dad become anxious, worried. Sometimes even grandma cries and curses the occupiers.

Year 2016, August 23. My city is now called Myrnohrad. I like it, it sounds colourful. Now many people know about my beautiful city, because it was shown on TV.

A national record was set at the Shakhtar stadium – 1475 children dressed in blue and yellow T-shirts, standing in the shape of a map of Ukraine. My city was ablaze with blue and yellow colours. All adults say: Myrnohrad is Ukraine. The Minister of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine Pavlo Klimkin came to my school, visited the Valerii Dotsenko Secondary School No. 5 as part of the exclusive International social project “Book of Goodness” which he himself initiated. Then came the best and happiest times of my life.

My city is alive. Fun holidays in the centre, fairs, school competitions, City Day, Independence Day, Flag Day. My family started treating this holiday differently, the words “patriotism,” “we are Ukrainians,” “one single united “country” sound more often around me.

Year 2021, August 24. My country is 30. What a wonderful holiday! Mom and dad are cheerful. Flags are flying all over the city of Myrnohrad and not only my city, the whole country is celebrating. Today I felt proud that I am Ukrainian. My family decorated the house with a flag. You know, although I am still a teenager, I understand something.

It seems to me that this flag did not just appear in the city of Myrnohrad, but rather grew in the soul of every Myrnohrad resident. Perhaps this is the patriotism that mom and dad talked about, the teacher in class, the President in his holiday speech, everyone who proudly bears the name Ukrainian.

Year 2022, February 24. Morning. Silence The phone rang. Through sleep I hear my mother's anxious voice. I saw despair and complete incomprehension on my mother's face. "This is war. I say war!" - came the voice of my uncle, who was in the city of Popasne. After that, my mother turned on the TV and we heard a word that seems impossible in the 21st century - war.

The address of the President of Ukraine. Terrible news about the russian missile strikes. Shock! And then everything was like in a fog. TV, phone, news, tears.

It was hard to believe, it was extremely difficult to describe my emotions. For the next few months we became hostages of news from telegram channels and addresses from government officials. Occupied cities, villages, destroyed kindergartens and schools, wounded and dead people.

Pain, suffering, misunderstanding, hopelessness, anger - these were the emotions that overwhelmed me, my family, my city.

Year 2023, February 24. The year of our invincibility. 365 days since the beginning of the criminal full-scale invasion of the russian federation into our country. This year was terrible. Some things that were revealed to humanity about the racists after the de-occupation of Irpin, Bucha, were shocking.

I only heard about such atrocities in history lessons, studying fascism. But, God, this is not the past, this is the present! This is what is happening now. Everyone is worried, but this horror that I have witnessed cannot be stopped.

Year 2023, spring. My family and I are moving to my grandmother's house, in the village of Myroliubivka, not far from our city of Myrnohrad. Explosions can be heard, the roar of fighter jets, the glow of explosions and cluster bombs. This noise is why my little brother is now scared of everything. My parents are worried more and more.

Fear, anxiety, hopelessness do not leave my family. My brother and I go to bed dressed. The war is getting closer and closer to my home.

My brother's fear, my mother's and grandmother's tears, my father's silence. The war is not somewhere out there, the war is 30 kilometres from my house. Rockets are flying into neighbouring villages and ours too. Fear and despair, pain and anger.

Year 2024, January. My city, my dear Myrnohrad. The name of my city is on the pages of world newspapers. The enemy has completely lost its mind. The month of January is a bloody month for my small homeland. The racists have occupied Avdiivka and are moving on.

At a family meeting, which was probably the most painful in my entire life, we decided that we would pack our things, say goodbye to everything that had become so dear to us.

Year 2024, February. A long road into the unknown. Farewell to my home. I don’t even remember, or maybe my psyche doesn’t want to remember, how it all happened.

Only one thing is etched in my memory: we are leaving Donetsk region, passing a famous stele, where not only the name of our region is, but something much bigger, more dear, valuable.

All emotions are interrupted by a song that sounds on the tape recorder in our car:

        “We’re going, playing memories on the way.

        All that rain left behind is wiped away.

        Howling wind, blasting smoke, where are we flying so young?”

Where are we flying? Where…

A thousand days of pain, suffering, worries and anger, and a thousand more days of hope, horror and murder. This is not only a thousand days, but also thousands of lives, tens of thousands.

I was disgusted to hear that a nation that considered us brothers is so mercilessly destroying everything alive in our Motherland, how much hatred can be in people, how much horror they can cause. Watching the news, I could not hold back tears, I consoled myself with the fact that I have a family and a roof over my head.

More than ten thousand people died. These were someone's parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Two thousand children. Some were very young, some were older. Little angels died who did not even have time to see the world, say their first words, take their first steps.

Some schoolchildren will never dance at the graduation, will never surprise the world with their discoveries. How many families and their homes have been destroyed. People have nothing left, neither their parental home, where generations grew up, nor a garden in which each tree was planted by their own hands. Nothing! How many people have been shot for their love of Ukraine. How many thousands of Ukrainians has russia tortured and buried, like some kind of rabble?

To be honest, I was overwhelmed by my own emotions. My own thoughts went into battle against me, they ate away my soul and heart from the inside. There was a feeling of hopelessness, when I couldn’t help people, I couldn’t stop it, understanding whether tomorrow would come.

Fear: is it a russian plane or a Ukrainian one buzzing overhead. It was difficult to switch to something else. It’s like you’re frozen and waiting for a miracle or you are sleeping and dreaming of horrors. A quote by Viktor Frankl gave me the impetus for change. It goes like this: “The first to break were those who believed that it would all end soon. Next were those who did not believe that it would ever end. Those who survived focused on their actions, without expecting what might or might not happen.” This quote was my saviour. Trying to move forward in small steps, but moving.

My family and I moved to Dnipro because it became dangerous to stay in my native Myrnohrad. I thank my family and friends who supported me. Little by little, I started focusing on my studies.

I realized that no one would help me deal with my feelings once and for all. I, and only I, control my actions and feelings. After reading a saying on social networks that a ship sinks not when there is water around you, but when there is water inside the ship, I realized several important things.

First, to enjoy simple things: rain, which washes away everything bad and leaves only the good and pleasant, snow, which falls quietly and gives peace and oblivion, sweets, and just an ordinary morning. Thank God that it has come!

Secondly, do not put off for later something that gives me joy. Do you want to buy a nice cup or plate? Buy it. Do you want to dance today? Dance. Do you want to scream today? Scream. And do not let anyone break your dreams. Dream, love, live, help! War gives birth to strong people, every black stripe turns into a white one. After winter, there will definitely be spring, and then summer.

Of course, everyone has their own path. Let everyone find their flashlight or their firefly and move on into the future. Let's hold on, light will conquer darkness!