Oksana Kovalyk, 13 years old

Winner of the 2023 essay competition, 1st place

Student of the 8th grade of the Novobuzka Lyceum of the Novobuzka City Council of the Mykolaiv Region.

The teacher who inspired me to write the essay: Korolkova Svitlana Valentynivna

I started to hear the Anthem differently. Before February 24, like most high school students, I simply "waited" these minutes without attaching any special significance to the words. But after the full-scale invasion, the words "we will lay down our soul and body for our freedom" feel like an order, like a testament from those who are no longer here. When I found my mother's war diary, I wanted to convey to all the children on Earth: cherish peace and safeguard freedom, because the finest soldiers of Ukraine are laying down their lives for it.

24.02.2022

Mom woke me up earlier than usual. Dad seemed confused drinking his coffee. Mom, who didn't have any, made a long list of medicines that needed to be bought in the city. "It will be necessary for the wounded," she said. As the terrible sounds of either planes or rockets howled overhead, we made it to Novy Bug. I didn't see a single smile on the faces of those around me during the hour and a half we spent in the queues. From that day on, the word "war" became a regular topic in my family's conversations. I imagine war as an old woman who never smiles, and everyone who comes into contact with her becomes wounded.

25.02.2022

Today, Dad went to Bashtanka. I had never seen him show such tenderness towards Mom and Grandma. "The boys are leaving and I need them. Who, if not us? Help Mom," was all he said. I am really afraid to imagine that he will not come back. My mother burdens herself with housework, while I don't have anything to do: there is no school and a lot of free time, but I am not happy about it at all. My friend and neighbor, Nastya's dad, went to war. He had returned from the ATO only a few years ago, so it must be even harder for Nastya. I added an idea to the "image of war" that this "old woman" takes men away from home.

27.02.2022

It's the first time in 24 years that we won't be celebrating my older sister's birthday. There are weapons at home now, given to my father at the Military Commissariat. They say Kherson is under occupation, and animals were killed in Askania-Nova, where we went on an excursion last year. It's heartbreaking to think that war is also affecting defenseless llamas, ostriches, zebras, antelopes, and wild horses.

Our family has picked up a new hobby - baking pies for the hospital. It helps to take our minds off our dad, who is on night duty. I heard some explosions, but initially, I thought it was just thunder. We're preparing a space in the cellar, in case we have to spend the night there.

04.03.2022

Today, I met the "refugees" for the first time, as my mother called them. Before meeting them, I imagined that they were people who were always running somewhere. But after seeing three frightened people and a white tape on the car antenna, I understood: this is the same family as us, just at the moment without a home, without a favorite blanket, without a cat that remained there, under fire. You, war, are also a glutton! Men and animals were not enough for you; you dared to take away people's homes and all they had there.

05.03.2022

I struggle to sleep in my outerwear, often overhearing my parents' quiet conversations while half asleep, or rushing downstairs to the shelter during explosions. A column of Russian tanks rushed through the neighboring village, 53 units, as a neighbor told my mother. I imagined the front line as a red line on the map, and it stretched like a tank column 7 kilometers from our house. I don't like the word "evacuation", because it means leaving our pets behind.

17.03.2022

We bid farewell to our "refugees". Erika, Aunt Yana, and Uncle Sashko are continuing to the western part of Ukraine. It's a pity, as we barely had time to become friends and take a walk around the village for the first time. Erika couldn't leave her mother alone at home. My mother cried for the first time after finding out on the Internet about the death of her former student in the besieged Mariupol on Azovstal. This damn war won't quit and it's tearing through whole cities with its claws.

07.04.2022

For the first time, I saw the soldiers of the Armed Forces up close. It was scary at first, but my mother said that they came to the village on the great feast of the Annunciation, which is a good sign. My mother's pastries found their recipients - I, as a "messenger" with a basket in my hands, travel to the "boys" (as my mother so gently calls them in conversations). It turns out that Guardian Angels can wear military uniforms! Now it became much more peaceful to sleep.

23.04.2022

Never before have we baked so many Paskas! In addition, the women from the village also baked theirs. My omnipresent mother can't calm down, saying, 'For the boys, because who's going to bake them.' You know, it's possible to be a single, whole family – a village and soldiers. We don't even know who is from where, but we smile as if we have lived together for a hundred years, and the words 'Christ is risen!' joyfully sound among loved ones.

09.05.2022

We are getting used to war. "That's good," says Dad. "It's scary," says Mom. Dad had to give up his weapon, so he hasn't killed anyone, which is good. Mom, who is busy with work and phone calls to her sister in Kyiv and grandmother in Zhytomyr, hardly speaks to us. It's scary. The war has somehow combined the incompatible - good and terrible.

25.05.2022

Today marks the end of the school year, and I am now a seventh grader. I am going to be transferring to a different school soon.

“I feel like I've lost something. Some days are missing from my life. Oh, the horror! This war has stolen my spring. I couldn't walk on the steppe because planes and rockets are flying. I didn't go on a picnic with my classmates because there was a curfew. I don't yet know the scents of a quiet spring evening, but I know the rule of "two walls". We don't pack a picnic basket, but we do have an "emergency backpack" ready. I haven't heard the birds yet, but I can hear the air raid signals. I will never get back this lost spring. I will not forgive you, war.”