Prykhodchenko Ivan, 17 years old

Winner of the 2024 essay contest, 1st place

Municipal institution “Danylo Bakumenko Derhachi Lyceum No. 1” of the Derhachi City Council

Teacher who inspired to write an assay - Lytvyn Lidiia Ivanivna

 

«1000 days of war. My way»

A thousand fragments of a terrible puzzle - a thousand days of war. In the gray flow of time, memory strangely separates the pieces…

Adaptation

The first months of fear are behind. Traveling across Ukraine brought us to the only possible destination - home. In the fall of 2022, everything seemed to be back to normal. The northern suburbs of Kharkiv are crowded again. The illusion of normal life is carefully preserved by the residents, they even invented a strange newspeak to hide the true essence of things behind it.

Endless air raid alerts, night hunts for “shaheeds,” occasional hits and the scariest thing - victims, a variant of the distorted norm. Against this surreal background, roofs are being repaired, windows are being installed, gardens are being planted.

Life is like a strange arthouse movie. My family lives the same as it did before the war. In the morning, my parents go to work in Kharkiv, I go to school, then go for a walk. But the devil is in the details - a suitcase in the hallway, a bag with documents near the door, life plans are measured not in years, but in hours.

Depression

In the fall, my mother, who is usually a bundle of energy, suddenly lost interest in everything all at once. She freezes and remains silent for hours during conversations about moving, which often arise after shelling. My father once again flips through the album of photos of the construction of our house, which he himself took many years ago. He doesn't cry only because boys don't cry.

Like a fly in a spider's web, we are stuck in this state for a whole year, when we don't want anything and everything is indifferent.

My first New Year without a New Year, without a Christmas tree, a holiday, or hope for the best. It's scary that many people have it much worse. And my parents are also oppressed by a feeling of guilt that I live in a dangerous place.

But are there any safe places?

Escalation

The spring wind brought the smell of new anxieties and challenges. Since the end of April, there was tension in everything: the sticky air, people's conversations, news from the front. We hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst. In May, it began. Some days were so frightening, that we went to spend the night in Kharkiv in my mother's office, because the building there is concrete and the metro is nearby.

The flow of residents of border villages who were fleeing the horde added to the despair. It seems that we felt their confusion too.

Our defenders managed to thwart the enemy's plans, but not everyone was so lucky. Only the names and memories of those who lived there remain from many villages.

Roll call

I listen to my mother's notation on the phone, I get angry. A few seconds later there's an explosion. I realize it's in Kharkiv. I check the local channel's notifications. It's arrived in the area where she is... And there's no time or space anymore, only a throbbing in my brain: pick up the phone, just pick up.

Soon I hear her voice. I break out in a cold sweat. Our phone roll call begins: dad, grandparents, friend. There were those outside my mother's office who would no longer be able to respond to their roll call.

Sea

One summer morning, my father said: “Enough of postponing life.” And we were in Odesa. I probably wouldn't have been here if it weren't for the war. I barely managed to avoid going to the ballet at the Odesa Opera House. My parents went, even though they were worried that they didn't have the right clothes. Old school...

The sea is dirty and cold, there is no power half the day, and yet these are a few bright pieces in the thousand-day gray puzzle of war.

Enemy

Men have simple words for them; words that make the paper turn red. The situation is strange with women; although they are sharp-tongued, they have not found the right words.

I have noticed that most of my acquaintances say “they” probably knowing with their sixth sense that there is no name for this evil in human language.

Future

My whole family studied in Kharkiv after school. I will be the first to break tradition, I will go to another city to get an education in person. My grandmother is sad and happy at the same time. She is sad because she does not want to part; she is happy because she still remembers the old classrooms of Kharkiv Polytechnic; she wants me to feel the real taste of youth and student life, despite the war.

Dawn

I know that Victory will come. We must believe, do our job conscientiously, study, work. I know that the darkest night is before the dawn, and it will definitely come.