‘For me, the war means...’

...something terrible, some disturbance, I cannot even explain. Earlier, it used to be something from far away as the Great Patriotic War [WWII]. Now, it has a different meaning. As it has affected me personally, I have seen it myself. It scares me to recall it. 

When did the war in Donbass begin for you?

You know, probably, when the tanks were passing by my village on their way to the border. Then the war began. It was something scary, incomprehensible, unknown. There came the first worry that it was very close, affecting us.

Did you happen to see military actions with your own eyes?

When shells were hitting one hundred metres away from my home or when they were waking us up instead of an alarm clock.

What did you talk about with your family and neighbours during active hostilities?

All were scared, and all the talks were about what would come next. Kamianka did not see any activities.

Yet, 15 km away, a bridge that had connected both areas was blown up. There is no bridge, and no other area that used to be Ukraine where we regularly travelled.

Our district centre was on that side, and we travelled there to the hospital and get documents. All of us were shaken up by that. Later, Kamianka was reassigned to the Volnovakha district the part of which we are now. Everything had to be changed, and there were a lot of discussions where to go to the hospital, how to get documents. The bridge has not been rebuilt and, probably, will not be.

What was the most important event of that war for you?

To give a birth during a war. An important event, one of good ones (she laughs).

We tend to erase unpleasant events from our memory. What event from the beginning of the armed conflict in Donbass would you like to forget about (or cannot forget)?

There is an event I’d like to forget. It is when a shell hit one hundred metres away from my home. Thanks God, it ended well. The school was shelled; it is about one hundred metres away from us.

Have you moved out to other places because of the war? Where to? How did the relocation take place?

Yes, I had to. I lived in Mariupol, then in Odesa, but not for long. Our home is still here.

We moved out in 2015. We did not flee under shelling. It was a well-considered decision. Yet, Mariupol turned out to be not very safe either.

When the Minsk Agreements were signed, and respective measures were taken, we were in Odesa. It was safer. But I get scared when I hear fireworks. It feels like shellfire. Everyone is happy while we are scared; it is impossible to fall asleep.

How has the war changed your life?

The main change is the birth of my child. We had to take important decisions: to move out, to get settled there, to come back home. We had to move out not because we wanted it but because we had to: it was safer. Was it easier? Hard to say.

Do you feel safe now?

I do not know. Someday at 5 am, some shell would hit, and everything might change. I still have this feeling.  If you have lived through it once, it will remain forever. One shell, and you have no home, no relatives. It is scary. You can put it out of your mind, but you will never forget.

What helps you feel safe?

I do not know even. Probably, the fact that there are no war actions.

What do you dream about?

I’d really wanted to use this cliche: to live beneath peaceful skies. But the rational mind says there should be a lot of factors to make it happen. We definitely will not have peaceful skies any time soon. Though, I would want to. We believe and hope. 

What has become the greatest value for you over the last years?

There is a family, a child. This is the greatest value.

Has your perception of life changed because of the war?

Yes, some trifle concerns – comfort, convenience – seem no longer important when you worry about tomorrow. I would easily give them up to have a better future. 

What did you learn while overcoming all those difficulties you told us about?

To pack up quickly (she smiles). No matter how funny or scary it could sound.

Have you or your family received humanitarian aid before?

Yes, we have.

How important this humanitarian assistance has been for you and your family?

I cannot say that we did not have any food and survived only on humanitarian aid. But it really came in handy. I remember when the village did not have electricity for several months because of damaged lines, some trucks brought us food, hygiene items, some containers. 

In your opinion, what organization or individuals helped civilians the most during the conflict?

The Rinat Akhmetov Foundation, Caritas... I do not remember other names. I do not know who gave money to help fix windows in the school: they were broken by shelling, but they brought film and glass to fix it. I heard more about the assistance from the Akhmetov Foundation, including in social media. For instance, about helping a child to have a heart surgery.