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Stories that you confided to us

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Oleksandra Vabel

"It isn't time for us to die yet"

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We would all gather at weekends. You see the pavilion was there? It was smashed. Now it looks like ruins. It used to be such a lovely place. We used to go to dances there. People lived normally.

It isn't time for us to die yet

The town looked like a deserted place during the war. Many people have left, because there were no jobs. People had to heat their houses. But they couldn't, because gas was cut off. It is hard to remember.  We have become so jumpy. Even after the destruction… I was very hard the first year. There was no water, no gas, no electricity.

It isn't time for us to die yet

Here is the house. The fronton there was also smashed. It happened in 2017. Things were quite fine before that. The roof of the last house was blown off by a blast wave. A shell exploded in the park there. Last year the windows shattered in front of us. A shell hole was made in the park. It was three meters deep and six meters in diameter. The blast wave destroyed everything there. Four houses were damaged.

We woke up every time we heard strong explosions and shots. When they were mild, we continued to sleep. We spent almost every night in the basement for two winters.

We were so stressed. As they start shooting, we just waited and wondered if they would explode again. It was unclear though where to run and where to hide. We are so worried.

It isn't time for us to die yet

Without doubt, all those events made us worry. My husband had headaches constantly. He began to lose consciousness without any visible reason. You know, stress is the best trigger. It is hard to experience something like this. The explosion was horrific. Things around were flying.

I don't know what helped us. We were sitting right in front of this window when it shattered, as well as other windows. Everything was crushed. The fragments were everywhere. We took out so many fragments in the trash! It was just terrible. What saved us? God saved us, I guess. This is how it was supposed to be. It isn't time for us to die yet.

It isn't time for us to die yet

The light was often cut off. Luckily, the shortages have become less frequent now. They cut off light mostly in winter. Or when firing starts, the line is often interrupted. It takes two or three days to restore it. We have feed water. We use it to wash hands, feet, to do the washing-up. We have to buy water to cook food and make tea.

Gas supply was cut off in 2014. In July, war started, and in August we had no water,  gas or electricity. And we lived like that for a year. The light was also often cut off. We still have no water and gas in the city. That is how we live.

What's the hardest part? First of all, everyone has become so nervous. We just had to wait to see what happens next. We can't afford to buy anything extra, because we  need to put something aside, because winter is coming, and we need to buy coal and medicines. We don't have enough coal. We have to heat the house only in the evening. We heat it a little so that we can sit in the evening and get warm a bit. Coal is very expensive, and we can't buy it with our pension money.

It isn't time for us to die yet

We can't see the children or grandchildren. They will not come here, because it is dangerous. We just wish the war would end and we would get over this.

When quoting a story, a reference to the source – the Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation – is mandatory, as follows:

The Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation https://civilvoicesmuseum.org/

Rinat Akhmetov Foundation Civilian Voices Museum
Krasnogorivka 2014 2015 2016 2017 Text Civilian's stories pensioners 2014 destroyed or damaged housing psychological injury shelling safety and life support health elderly (60+) poor Separation from loved ones
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