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No one could even think that this could happen. We had a village. People had jobs. They were cheerful. Everything was fine. All the curbs around the village, windows, houses were cleaned. Everything was fine.
The windows were covered with boards. There were no windows. Our winter kitchen is completely destroyed. The first hit happened in early October 2015.
A shell hit the roof. And then, with each attack on the village, either the windows or the roof gradually collapsed. The summer kitchen, basement, garage, and eventually a winter kitchen were destroyed.
We were left with nothing.
It is so horrible. When you strive for something better, and in the end you have nothing... It reminds me of 1941. When unexpected attacks, mines, whistles start, when children cry, when they need to hide somewhere from all this, and when children get scared. It is so horrible. When the house was destroyed and there is no place to live. It was so scary.
We were restless every day. I went to work, they were all worried, because we were under fire. Even when we were walking with the child, we had to lay under the fence. When the attacke stopped, we went further. Something bad happens every day.
Well, my husband had a heart attack and a stroke. Doctors couldn't save him. The child went to call for an ambulance. Their transport was not running at that time. It was just after six in the morning. He shouted that he was feeling very bad. I ran to him. He told me that he couldn't feel his hands. His left side was paralized. He probably had a fever, too. The first thing I could do was wet a towel with cold water and put it on his head. Well, I did not know what else to do. The child went to get an ambulance. They gave him an injection, and he didn't wake up at all.
It was so horrible. I also had an attack on 19 January. They brought me an ambulance twice. They could barely save me. It was impossible to get through all this. I lost my father and husband in six months. Well, then I made a conclusion for myself that I needed to hold on, because I have children. So I needed to live for them.
It is hard. We work and keep the farmstead. Children should get good education.
You somehow feel safer when there is a man in a family during such dreadful attacks. You can get some support. It is so great to have someone to turn to, someone who can help. Now it is very difficult, even in terms of household keeping. We always have a broken pump or heating – it's all men's work. It is hard. Well, we're doing our best.
I ask myself every day, What is it for me and my children?" I can't find the answer to this question. Why do we have to suffer? I can't describe the feeling. It's just awful. People lost their hope after six months of war. Everyone talked only about the war, about this horror.
If only peace would come. We all want peace. When it comes, we will all get back on track, and everything will be fine. But no one understands what it is like to live during a war if you haven't witnessed it yourself. No one can give an answer. We just live every day and hope that tomorrow will be better, and the war will end.
When quoting a story, a reference to the source – the Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation – is mandatory, as follows:
The Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation https://civilvoicesmuseum.org/
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