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Stories that you confided to us

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Oksana Lavrova

“It seems to me it will never end”

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Children are the flowers of life. My husband and I wanted to move to the village and to run a household. Many people ask us: how could you do that? The war, and you have so many kids. How do you subsist? We try to do our best, somehow. We are glad that we have so many kids.

“It seems to me it will never end”

The husband is unemployed because there are no jobs. There is some pick-up work, part-time jobs for him every now and then. We have vegetable gardens, we keep ducks, and we try to do some farming. Before the war my husband worked at the coking plant. I am on the maternity leave continuously. We used to be busy with keeping the vegetable garden, although a small one. We kept goats. My mother-in-law lived with us. We were trying our best to make a living. Then the war came and that all was over.

I remember the first day of the war, the first day of shelling. It was early in the morning. We got the kids to the cellar. My husband went out for a walk to see what happened and where. It was scary, of course.

We stayed in the cellar for more than two weeks. That was scary. Tanks drove along the street. The kids were shocked. The eldest daughter fell into hysterics. She understands everything more than others. The younger kids took it easier. But the eldest… Even when shelling begins now, even when it is far away – the eldest daughter is shivering.

We soothe her: “Do not be afraid, it is not close, it is far away”. If something happens, we get them to the cellar immediately. We stay there for a couple of minutes and get them back. And we keep reassuring them that everything will be fine.

It seems to me that it will never end. The kids stay stressed all the time. It never works smooth with attending the school. Shelling begins and electricity supply is off.

“It seems to me it will never end”

I think it is hard for anyone, when every time you think that now it will hit your house and your kids will become disabled. I personally find it very hard when the kids react to all of this this way.

We were offered to leave as refugees. We simply do not want to. We lived here all our lives, our kids were born here, we built something here, tried to do something and that is why we do not want to leave this place. After all, our homes are here and our relatives are here too.

The ruins are our burnt down house. The kitchen block was unfinished construction before the war. There is now simply no money and no any desire to finish the construction. We could resume the construction, but then a shell could hit here and all this would be gone up in smoke. You just give it up, and do not want to do anything.

“It seems to me it will never end”

In 2015, we moved from here, from Avdiivka, to Novoselivka-2, because it was much quieter there than it was here. We come here only in winter. If heavy shelling starts here, we go back there. There is also shelling there, but it happens very seldom, and it is much quieter there.

It is better and easier for the kids there. We have two large vegetable gardens there. It is not possible to have such gardens here. You can keep a more or less big farm there. My husband would like to keep a cow. In 2015, we had a cow, but there was nowhere to mow hay because there were many soldiers. You cannot go there as there are mines. So, we sold the cow. Now we keep ducks.

“It seems to me it will never end”

In 2016, there was no power supply, no heating here. The school where my son Mykyta studied was hit by shells. We often went to the school and blocked the windows with bags so that shell fragments did not wound the kids. Children studied at home and went to school once a week. And all parents stayed at school while their kids were at lessons for three hours. It was a part-time school day. Children were very much behind the programme. Our son then caught up. He likes it. Well, not everything of course. Mathematics is not easy for him. Generally, he is a capable boy. We were catching up with the programme, we are still trying our best.

“It seems to me it will never end”

When I was 12, I was a carefree kid. Now, I look at my daughter and she seems so mature. I think the war has tempered them, and even made them somewhat harsh. They do not have a carefree childhood.

 Only elderly women stayed here. We left the place in 15 minutes. It is quieter now. People try to return and restore their houses because wherever you are your home will always be your home.

When quoting a story, a reference to the source – the Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation – is mandatory, as follows:

The Museum of Civilian Voices of the Rinat Akhmetov Foundation https://civilvoicesmuseum.org/

Rinat Akhmetov Foundation Civilian Voices Museum
Avdiivka 2015 2016 2018 Video Civilian's stories women children destroyed or damaged housing psychological injury shelling job loss Job families with two or more children the first day of the war
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