We spent 10 days under siege in a place two kilometres away from Makariv (Kyiv region). In one of the most horrendous places in Ukraine that has been mercilessly torn apart all this time. Without electricity, heating, water supply and telephone communication. There was almost no news.
Yesterday, when we went mad and were just driving across the field under an attack from Grad multiple rocket-launching vehicle, I started reading and watching the news. From text messages sent by relatives, I knew only ten percent, and I learned some of the news from the radio when I could listen to it...
Like Leeloo from The Fifth Element movie, I saw all the horrors of war in a blink of an eye. I spent five hours reading the news and watching the fate of my country and the town of my dreams.
Irpin is being turned into ashes. I have lived in this town happily for four years and my whole life is still there. During 10 days of the siege, I learned more than during a decade, about myself, about people, about what is really important to survive.
I will share it with you.
Maybe it will be useful for somebody, and somebody will feel at least a little of what we are going through now and will finally close that damned sky above our heads...
As we can see, despite the fierce love, all mothers’ wings and bodies turned out to be very fragile and for some reason they do not stop bullets and shells targeting our children.
On the first day of the war, we managed to take our child and my mother to my husband’s parents, to a small and picturesque village between Borodianka and Makariv. The next day we were able to return to Bucha in order to pick up our pets under bullets. And besides the kindergarten, we also set up a zoo in the village with two dogs, two cats and a parrot.
On the third day, we managed to bring some diesel fuel and food to the maternity hospital in Vorzel as six young mothers and the entire hospital staff, the entire maternity hospital team remained there, with nothing more than only a spare power generator. The next day, as far as I know, [the maternity hospital] was seized by the Russian military. Although I do not know if that is true. I still cannot get in touch with the head of the hospital.
As soon as we returned, all our escape ways were blocked – the Russians launched an attack; they began shelling. There is no precise information about the length of the Russian convoys, but a terrible rumble was heard for about two hours even in the shelter. And it happened three times.
And this is what I learned while under siege.
I learned that if you just look at a convoy of tanks, one of them will turn and just shoot at you, as was the case with three neighbours on our street.
I learned that if you try to take the children out through the Russian troops, you will turn into minced meat, as was the case with a family from the neighbouring village.
I learned that if you stare at a candle in a cold, damp shelter for five hours in a row, you can stop the scream of horror and rage inside yourself.
I learned how to make hygienic pads from diapers smartly left by my grandmother after her youngest grandson.
I learned that a rocket from that Grad rocket launcher would land some 6 to 14 seconds after launch (depending on the distance), and sometimes, if you try your best, you can have enough time to go to the toilet while they are flying.
I learned that a true shutdown is not just turning off the lights everywhere, but learning how to pour water into a glass for your kid in complete darkness and tell by the sound how full the glass is.
I learned how to make a candle from some bits and pieces of paraffin wax and oiled paper and that ordinary church candles burn for only 25 minutes.
I learned how to wash my kid, myself, my husband, to wash our clothes, mop the floor and flush the toilet using the same portion of water.
I learned how to fix a phone under the overhead lighting so that in seconds when there is some kind of telephone connection, to send a precious message about the change in location of the Russian invaders.
I learned how to invent a game in the bomb shelter that would boost the morale of not only children, but also all adults.
I learned how to talk to a little kid about the war, so that he could eat, sleep, stay calm and be sure that he himself could destroy 50 tanks.
I learned what it feels like to choose between leaving your parents in danger because they are not ready to leave home and taking your child out of that danger because he has his whole future ahead of him.
As you can see, I received many very “valuable” pieces of knowledge. I really will never forget it. And I will not forgive for this.
However, I failed to learn just one thing. What to tell to your kid who keeps asking you every day while staying in the basement, ‘Mum, what do these tanks want from us?’ I really do not know.
I will write this post in both Russian and English. Posted separately.
As it turned out to be quite long and I do not know how to erase anything from that experience.
If this tiny step gets us a little bit closer to having our sky closed, or if it can be helpful for somebody, please share it.
The photos show my three-year-old son tight asleep in a cold, terrible bomb shelter and the candle that helped me not to go mad.
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