Kateryna Savenko died on April 4th 2022. Her husband, Vitaliy, had died on March 29th. On that day their house was shelled, causing them to suffer fatal injuries. Katya had kept a diary until March 29th. Let's read it. In our voices.
Day One: February 24, 2022, Thursday
The morning was completely normal. Nothing indicated the impending disaster. It was hard getting up for work. Then it all started! At the shift meeting, we were told to stay in one location. Strange. Then they let the women leave work, I don’t remember when.. around 9:00 AM. My coworker began to slip into depression, slowly but surely turning into hysteria. I walk home calmly. Seeing a huge line at the ATM and that panic started, but not for me. Of course, I had to stand in line just in case the money ran out. But I'm not panicking. People are sweeping goods off the shelves in stores, armfuls of sausages, water, carrying bread in bags! “Madness”! I think, and laugh. It was stupid panic. We had already experienced this in 2014. Now I am ashamed of these words and thoughts.
A call from the boss. We were not to go to work until further notice. "Katya, take care of yourself," he said last on the phone. It worried me a bit...
Couldn't we have understood already then?
***
39 days until the end of Katia’s life.
33 days until the end of her husband Vitaly’s life.
***
Day Two: February 25, 2022, Friday
My daughter and I decided to go to the store. Transport around the city was free. Maybe we could withdraw some cash? It was impossible to pay with a card in our stores. In ATB, the shelves were half-empty. Only canned and dairy products were left. In “Shchyrom kum” store the prices had skyrocketed. I started to go crazy. But I bought something.
Vitalik was at work, on the first shift.
38 days until the end of Katia’s life.
32 days until the end of her husband Vitaly’s life.
***
Day Three: February 26, Saturday
The sound of gunfire is becoming more frequent.
Vitalik has fallen ill, with a fever of 38.4°C. I urge him not to go to his night shift, but he goes. He returns five minutes later; the factory is on a standby. The management instructed everyone not to come to work. I still don’t understand what’s happening, yet I’m convinced this will all end soon.
***
Day Four: February 27, Sunday
We are worried about food and money, though we have reserves at home. Vitalik and I decide to scout out the area towards gate 8 on foot. No public transport is available. The shops on Levchenko are open. "Shchedraya Lavka" is closed. And it's the same further on. ATMs are empty. On Pokryshkina, nothing works except for one pharmacy and a bakery, where there are queues. We see a few people rushing about the avenue, mainly searching for cash at ATMs, and so we return home empty-handed.
On the way back, a tank sped past us, the noise was deafening. We went into "Polyus," with some cash we had. We bought crackers with raisins and waffles.
The siren started. I’ve never been so frightened before. Vitalik walks calmly, I run. My heart is burning. At home is Nadya (daughter). When I reached the apartment, she wasn't there. She was in the basement with the animals.
***
Day Five: February 28, Monday
It’s Vitalik’s birthday. Shooting starts early in the morning. We celebrated! Had fried potatoes for breakfast.
Each day is getting worse. But we have electricity and water, while other areas don’t. My mother has been without electricity since Thursday. Neighbors are helping her. She charges her phone at their place. We call each other, and she’s coping.
Today we sleep "between contractions." When I went to the maternity hospital to give birth to Nadya, the doctor, a sleepy plump woman, said, "Sleep between contractions." I don’t even remember her face, but the phrase became iconic. That’s how we sleep now, between the explosions
36 days until the end of Katia’s life.
31 days until the end of her husband Vitaly’s life.
***
Day Six: March 1, Tuesday
Spring! The restaurant for March 8th was booked :))) And nothing foreshadows trouble. Is there really so little space for us all on this earth?!?! Why is it like this? Thank you, you scum (refers to Putin), for one thing: you have united us like never before!
Honestly, I don’t remember much of this day until the evening. The bombings were almost constant. Neighbors came over. At three in the morning, I went back to the apartment - I couldn’t take it anymore. I want to sleep in a bed. The three of us sleep in Nadya’s room, along with the dog and three cats. The apartment is freezing, the heating was turned off on the first day.
Day Eleven: March 6, 2022, Sunday
The night was very restless. The shooting didn't stop. In the morning, real Armageddon began. The entire city's infrastructure is destroyed, residential buildings are ruined, people have died... Who will be held accountable for all this?
Veronika (niece) and her mother are trying to leave again.
No communication at all.
Food is being distributed on the streets - humanitarian aid, all meat products that have nowhere to be stored. Having crossed the stage of anger, I imperceptibly move into the stage of despair and acceptance... This is truly the most terrifying.
My dear sister, there's a hole inside me, probably much larger than yours! I can only mentally send you these words, my dear.
Every night before sleeping, I mentally list everyone I know, sincerely hoping that they will all stay alive.
In the evening, the gas is cut off.
No communication all day.
The last two comforts were taken away…
We try to sleep in the basement, but I can't endure it for long, so I go up to the apartment, lying down in boots and two jackets. My pockets are always stuffed: a flashlight, phone, cigarettes, matches, and other essentials are constantly with me. I managed to sleep for a while during the night. My whole body aches.
Day Thirteen: March 8, 2022, Tuesday
The night was quiet. Or perhaps we have grown accustomed to the sounds alien to our normal life... Today's menu includes fried potatoes and fish, cooked on a campfire.
On the holiday, the men offered their congratulations. Vitalik kissed and embraced me in a way he never had throughout our shared life, presenting gifts of a "Marengo" bottle and waffles for Nadyusha. Alexey brought chocolate drops for cakes. Yura congratulated us with a cake, which he most likely "swiped" from a looted store. Unfortunately, it turned out to be spoiled. We so wanted to share it with all the female neighbors! But let this be our biggest disappointment. And, I had a bottle of champagne stashed away!
Overnight, snow fell. It is beautiful! Snowdrops peeking through the snow! A true Women's Day! Now, as the snow melts, we're collecting water.
There's no information about Veronika (my niece). Did they leave? We unanimously decided that if she didn't return by evening, they likely managed to break through. God protect them!
Arthur, Uncle Sasha's nephew, came by. He was at the settlement and saw my mother yesterday. This is very good news. Thank you to all the heroes who move around the city and bring news. God protect you!
There is a wood storage between the 1st and 2nd floors. We had to bring all the wood inside because people around started to dismantle wooden roofs.
Joy in the simplest of things, unimaginable to anyone before. All material concerns have receded into the background.
The most wonderful gift for us, women, was a bath day. The men drained water from the heating system, heated it in buckets on the grill, and we, oh miracle, bathed in icy bathrooms! Clean hair, fragrant with shampoo, was more beautiful than all the flowers in the world!
27 days until the end of Katia’s life.
21 days until the end of Vitalik's lifehusband Vitalik’s life.
Day Fifteen: March 10, 2022, Thursday
Last night was the first one spent entirely in the basement. Only fearless Vitalik went up to the apartment to sleep for a while. Nadya, Olya, Vadik, Yura, and I stayed in the basement all night. The fourteenth day of the war (which we so hoped would be the last) brought real disaster to our home. There’s practically no roof left on our side and uncle Sasha’s kitchen has a hole through to the sky. We used to thank nature for rain and snow; now we hope for neither. We used almost all our water to put out the fire. We managed on our own without help, thanks to the fire being small. Otherwise, the firefighters who arrived would have flooded our apartment.
Olya is sorting through various junk in the basement, amusing me with her jars, asking which to throw away and which to keep. I myself have more than enough of such stuff. Ironically, what we wanted to throw away is now coming in handy. How I fretted over Vitalik collecting various sticks and other junk. But now, the guys have gathered firewood on the platform, and it warms the soul (it was at that moment).
We made beds in our basement and the corridor out of chairs and an old door. It turned out great!
The men made a lamp; now it’s like daylight for us: a car battery + LED strip. A constant struggle for survival.
Just hoping no more shells come. If only no more shells would come. Heavy artillery is firing, aircraft are bombing, and there are exchanges of gunfire from rifles and machine guns. Films about World War II seem like cartoons now. We will probably remain forever in the first stage. We see everything with our own eyes, our hearts ache, torn apart along with the homes and people. Yet, no one has been able to truly believe in this hell so far.
Uncle Sasha went to his apartment. I don’t know what he does there. Probably ripping apart what's left of his heart.
Sveta's brother Andrey came by bike. Brought a message from her. They are all safe and everything is intact. Only there is no news from Genchik.
Olya says, “We live like hobos.” No, we’ll start living like that when the water runs out…
Nika came with her cousin Dima, Ira, and Kostya. They really cheered us up! Ira apparently has an endless supply of alcohol. :)
Sasha Chalenko told us that in his building (a four-story one on Semashko street) a girl gave birth to a baby in hospital #3. A shell hit it, she was injured by the glass, and the police with the Red Cross took her home. They treated her wounds on-site, and the baby is fine. A great miracle! New life!…
Nadyusha made tea for everyone. Uncle Vitya came, and she offered him a cup of the hot drink. Oh, the gratitude and happiness of that old man... He suffers greatly from not being able to bury his wife, from not being able to wash her and dress her in her favorite dress. It's simply a nightmare - all these things that I’m trying to briefly describe.
Nadyusha drew a calendar for March, and we hung it up. Today is March 10, the 15th day of the war...
Serezha, one of the heroes of our time, told us how much food costs: 1,000 UAH for 1kg of flour. No need to say more... Besides, all our money remains in the PUMB bank. My husband Vitalik dreamed of buying a car. A golden dream.
1,170 civilians during the period of the great Russian "liberation" or the insane hellish game of the mad Putin. That's just in Mariupol! The hero messenger said that the Emergency Services and volunteers knelt before the military on the left bank, begging to be allowed to rescue people from the rubble, but they were not allowed. A card game of mad people.
20:44 If only to eat some fruit! Yurka brought icy apples, Vitalik is warming one for Nadyusha under his coat.
25 days until the end of Katia's life.
19 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Sixteen: March 11, 2022, Friday
I want to say that all of us here in besieged Mariupol are heroes in our own way: some bring news, others bravely visit their loved ones under gunfire, procure food and water, support the desperate, roam around the area trying to catch a signal on their mobile phone screens to call loved once, prepare hot meals, risking their lives. This is true heroism… not the senseless shooting on someone’s demented orders. In people's hearts, there are holes so large that not even the most magical threads can mend them. Curse this war!!!
24 days until the end of Katia's life.
18 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
Day Nineteen: March 14, 2022, Monday
I slept for a long time… My lower back, leg, and all of the right side are aching. I suffered through the night, although it was quiet, and fell into a deep sleep towards morning. Everyone else had already gotten up. Olya cooked buckwheat. I even heard Nadya’s voice through my sleep, but I couldn’t get up.
We stood in a long line at "Lyubava" for groceries. Dima and Natasha came. In the queue, I saw Zhenya Karachevtsev, our neighbor from p. Ukraine, where we used to live. How joyful it is to see familiar faces!
Vita gave me 200 UAH (about $6). I didn’t want to take it, but she insisted: “I’m lending it to you.” And then I realized she really wants to meet again. For 180 UAH, I got 1 kg of sugar, 3 kg of flour, and 1 kg of buckwheat. For Vitalik - 2 kg of flour, 1 kg of sugar, and 1 kg of rice for 170 UAH. Tomorrow we will take our place in line at 6 AM. I want to send some to my mother.
Andrey, our godfather, came by bike. He traveled from the city center. Horrible! The center is destroyed! By bombers! The settlement of Volonterovka is destroyed, literally wiped off the face of the earth! Eastern and Left Bank as well! On the Left Bank, they dug a mass grave and are dumping bodies there. This is something unimaginable!
Lesha brought me an MDF board. He asked me to make a gravestone for Aunt Valya. I did my best under the circumstances. It turned out beautifully. Maybe Uncle Vitya will be a bit happy...
Vadik found Nadya a small-sized, brand new work suit. We cut off the reflective strips and dressed her in it. She looks so funny and yet so grown-up, my girl. It feels like I’ve slept through a part of life and my child has grown up so much. So wise, strong, instantly became an adult, my little one.
My dear sister! How are you, my dear? Just don’t go crazy, I beg you! We are alive and will live for the sake of children, for relatives! And we will definitely meet!
21 days until the end of Katia’s life.
15 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty: March 15, 2022, Tuesday
Spring is in full bloom, despite the war... Today I saw the buds of yellow crocuses and tasty buds on roses. The houseplants are quietly dying. It's very cold for them. Only the kalanchoe delights with its bloom. It's about +5 degrees inside the apartment.
In the morning, we collected water from the heating system for the entire yard. I lit a fire, heated water, and fried sausage. I even managed to wash myself. Incredible! But I had to dress very quickly because the artillery lit up and explosions were heard very close by. With wet hair, I ran to the basement.
In the morning, while I was still asleep, Andriy Lukash came by. He had somehow found "Maria" cookies and shared them with his goddaughter, our Nadya.
Dima was caught in the crossfire. We were terrified when he came to us to recount the incident.
Vitalik went to the looted offices at the factory. Miraculously, he managed to bring home 15 first-aid kits, very well-equipped and all usable. A truly heroic act. Tomorrow we will share with the neighbors.
But overall, everything is bad.
The city is being destroyed more and more!
More and more people are dying!
My beloved flowering city! Beautiful, modern, adorned with an amazing sea, plants and animals, strong infrastructure, and kind people. How could anyone dare to destroy all this due to the foolish, inhumane ambitions of a mad antichrist!
Merciful Lord,
Save and Protect Ukraine!
P.S. I no longer check for communications. Forgive me, my dear sister.
20 days left until the end of her life.
14 days left until the end of her husband's life.
Day Twenty-Three: March 18, 2022, Friday
War has evil eyes!
People are going mad! Hunger! Fear! Despair!
If only we knew when this madness will end? We don't need any worldly luxuries!!! Just let us live in peace, without gunfire!!! My daughter and I will go to the spring, bring water, clean the apartment, bathe, and we will be insanely happy! We will all climb onto the roof, even Nadyusha, and repair it, and we will all together rebuild our beautiful city for our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Lord, save and protect!
I'm in the drama theater.We came to the theater with our child. She won a drawing competition about our city. Together, we drew a picture of our wonderful city and won tickets to the play. Fantastic! If only it were now! Even if the war ends now, there will be nothing left in our country, and our children will have no future. There is no theater in the city center, no good entertainment centers, no parks.
Our mayor was trying hard to make our city even more beautiful, but it's all in vain now because everything has been destroyed by the hands of the devil.
I'm in my old apartment, where we used to live. We've just come from the maternity hospital, which can be seen from our kitchen window. I'm with my mother, sister, and husband. In my arms, I hold my newborn daughter - a new life. Everyone is busy and happy. A new meaning has come to our family's life. Outside, October plays with the bright colors of autumn…
Many Octobers have passed, and my daughter is almost twenty. It's March outside, frosty, with temperatures around -10 C, and it's almost always snowing.
It's very cold. I don't remember such weather at this time of the year. Everyone is busy, but with completely different troubles. And there's no more happiness on their faces.
17 days until the end of Katia’s life.
11 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty-Four: March 19, 2022, Saturday
I want to specifically mention the guys on the fire trucks. Truly real heroes! The "Talakivka" truck, with its shattered windows, regularly passes by our house, carrying men made of steel and granite; not a single muscle flinches on their faces. Amidst the relentless bombings, they perform their duty. A deep bow to you, great people!
16 days until the end of Katia's life.
10 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty-Five: March 20, 2022, Sunday
Emotions are becoming scarce. Either we've become accustomed, or we are tired of being scarred, and the brain accepts the situation as a given. Desperation. There's no information on when this nightmare will finally end. And that's the most depressing part. People are becoming sadder, their faces are not the same as before, even though many still joke and smile. But these are different smiles. They resemble the grimaces of the insane, involuntarily committed to psychiatric hospitals. Yet, deep down, each of them is convinced of their sanity.
My close ones, my family, wonderful people, constantly fall apart, like houses of cards, they break down, go mad, despair. Their beautiful eyes grow dim. Brown, blue, gray. Once bright, with sparkles. Cheerful redhead Katya cries, and through the veil of tears, I can't see the color of her eyes. Hang on! Hold on to the end with all your might, my dear Katyusha!
I don't know if Alexey quoted or invented this phrase himself: "They can take everything from us: food, water, warmth, and much more. Even our lives. But they will never take away our Hope!"
15 days until the end of Katia's life.
9 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty-Six: March 21, 2022, Monday
The city is destroyed! According to the existing data: from what we see ourselves and from the stories of people who have all without exception become incredibly close to us. I know what has survived, very little indeed: the Ilyichevsky and Primorsky districts are what remain. The Eastern and Left Bank areas have been reduced to ashes since the war's outset. Volonterovka and Ukraine are devastated, and the center, Kirova, and the 17-23 MKR areas are destroyed. Mirny is on fire.
Our beautiful city is being leveled to the ground!!! Monsters! Who needs this? Why do they want our death? And who? We don’t understand anything!
My precious mom and dad, please live! Forgive me, my dear ones, for everything I did wrong! I kneel before you, kissing your feet and the ground you walk on. May God protect you!
My dear friends: Sergeyko Orlov, Oksanochka, Andriyko Lukash, Yana and Vitalik, Vita. Forgive me, I can’t even remember all of you right now. Please live! I beg the universe, I beg Mother Earth! Just stay alive!
My little daughter Nadiika!
Your father and I always wanted only the best for you, worked for you and your future. Forgive us for not being able to give you everything you deserve, my beauty, my smart girl. Believe, we are trying to survive only to pull you out of this hell, to peel off our skin, so you can have a future, a family, children, a good life. My enchanting girl, live and be happy!
14 days until the end of Katia’s life.
8 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty-Seven: March 22, 2022, Tuesday
A plane circles overhead, dropping deadly missiles on our beloved city, into our homes, and into our hearts. We sit in the basement. Yurka brought apples. Probably the tastiest I've ever eaten. Everyone is exhausted to the point of collapse, faces have turned pale, eyes are full of fear and despair, but we are alive, and a tiny spark of hope still lives within us, in our wounded hearts.
Goodnight, my dear mother Ukraine!
Our enemies will perish,
Like dew in the sun.
And we shall prevail, brothers,
In our own land.
13 days until the end of Katia's life.
7 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty-Eight: March 23, 2022, Wednesday
The planes are bombing…
We're preparing breakfast: the two-day-old hot soup.
I want to say that our reactions to shots and explosions have completely dulled. We go about our usual tasks. There's always something that needs to be done. That's what my aunt Masha used to say. And so we do, life goes on, we can't just give up, especially with our children depending on us.
Good night, my dear ones, my precious people, and all the people of our extraordinary Ukraine! Live!
12 days until the end of Katia's life.
6 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day Twenty-Nine: March 24, 2022, Thursday
Tomorrow is the thirtieth day. Is that a lot or a little? No one knows the answer. Every evening, going to bed, we sincerely believe that in the morning there will be no more planes dropping missiles, no more guns firing deadly shells, and everything familiar will return, and all this nightmare will turn out to be a terrible dream.
11 days until the end of Katia's life.
5 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day thirty: March 25, 2022, Friday
What unit of measurement can truly quantify human sorrow?
How many human tears have been shed - they can’t even compare to the amount of water in the World Ocean.
How to measure the distance to God, to whom millions of impoverished people send their pleas?
Is there a name for the inhumanity of the person who started this senseless bloody war, crippling so many lives?
If only we knew whom to ask? If only we knew who will answer for all the suffering of my people, for the broken spirit and unbearable despair?
The red "Talakovka" car, which provided some hope, no longer comes. We no longer see the broken windows of the iron boys in firefighter uniforms. They too have left the city. The time of mass panic has come. Many have run out of food. Others can no longer bear the terrible explosions, fearing for themselves and their little children. And they flee from one abyss to another. And in this endless chaos, everyone makes their choice.
10 days until the end of Katia's life.
4 days until the end of Vitalik's life
***
Day thirty-first: March 26, 2022, Saturday
The morning was unbearably terrible!!! A deadly missile fell on Veronika's street (niece). A crater about 5 meters deep and the diameter of our apartment. The house next to Veronika's is destroyed. One woman died. I cannot describe the horror I felt. Uncle Sasha's relatives are planning to leave.
Uncle Vitya sits on a bench at his little girl's grave. The sight is unbearable! We try to support him as much as possible. But, I think, all words here are superfluous, and there are simply no words at all... Only stone faces, empty eyes, calloused, cracked hands from dirt and cold, and wounded hearts, in which a tiny spark of Hope still glimmers.
9 days until the end of Katia's life.
3 days until the end of Vitalik's life.
***
Day thirty-second: March 27, 2022, Sunday
You can choose everything in the world, my son. The only thing you cannot choose is your Motherland!
The next day. Just like the day before, terrible. New devastations, crippled lives, and destroyed homes. A shell hit near our house, blowing out the last windowpane in the far room.
We found bicycles in the Volkovs' garage. Nadia and Vitalik went to visit Olya and Vitalik’s former colleague nearby. Their house was also damaged. Meanwhile, I was frying flatbreads on the fire, cleaning up branches and debris in the street.
Olya and Vadik couldn't go to the city center. The guide refused to lead the group. Waited for about two hours. Then everyone dispersed to their homes. Girls from the neighboring building tried to reach the food supplies but failed. Maybe that’s how it was meant to be.
Today, everyone is alive. And that's the most important thing. Waiting for the morning.
Many thoughts on political matters, but I don’t want to write about it. I just want to say one thing: I love my Motherland with all my heart, so wonderful and incredible. Its cities and villages, rivers and seas, sincere and kind people. And with all my heart, I hate those nonhumans who started the war against my country. And the people of this country became bloody meat, worth less than half a penny. In fact, human life is a mere trifle and nobody tells the truth.
My dear sister, I will survive to convey the truth to you and others. And that is my fate…
8 days left until the end of her life.
2 days left until the end of her husband's life.
Day thirty-four: March 29, 2022, Tuesday
I've been sleeping in my daughter's bed for days now, my knees hurt terribly, and by the evening the pain is unbearable.
The shooting never completely stops. Bullets are even whizzing over our heads in the yard. If all this had happened on the first days, we would probably all have died from heart failure.
We want to go to Nika's to see how things are. We need to bring home water from their house, rainwater.
Today, I washed the floor, heated water from Sasha's barrel, and thoroughly bathed, from head to toe.
Sveta Zavodina’s nephew, a firefighter, allowed us to take two buckets of water from the fire station. Thank you, boy!
A family from the Mirny settlement passes by; they are trying to find humanitarian aid because they have four children and nothing to eat. I asked them, and they said Okanina Street is relatively calm.
***
At this point, the diary ends.
An explosion is heard in the yard. Vitaliy runs first to check if there is no fire. Katya follows him.
And at that moment, the second explosion.
Vitalik dies instantly. Katya sustains severe injuries.
For a day, she will hide in the basement with her daughter. On March 30, she will be moved to hospital #1. Katya is on the 2nd floor. Nadya is in the basement. The daughter will go up to her mom. Give her water. Administer injections. There are no doctors left.
With her right uninjured hand, Katya writes in her phone, urging her daughter to save the diaries. On April 2nd, as a result of shelling, a fire broke out in the hospital. Suffering from fractures to her hip, shoulder, and jaw, Katya is immobile. She was caught up in fire along with the hospital but managed to jump from the second-floor window, falling near the department's windows where her mother and mother-in-law eventually found her.
Before this ordeal, on April 1 or 2, Katya pens a note to her mother:
"Mom!
I am injured.
In hospital #1.
The doctors have all left.
My leg is broken, and my face is torn apart.
Vitalik has died.
Nadya is in the hospital's basement. Help!"
This note is later delivered to her mother by an unknown man from the Mirny settlement.
Mothers - Katya's and Vitaliy's - found Katya when they had almost given up hope and were on their way home. They find her concealed under a checkered bag, spotting her by mere chance.
Katya succumbs to her injuries and dies in her mother's arms on April 4, in the basement of their building.
The two women bury their children, Katya and Vitaliy, three times.
The Savenko family now rests at the Starokrymsky cemetery, with Katya forever 42 and Vitaliy 47. Daughter Nadya and the grandmother survive, along with all their neighbors. In a final act of preservation, two notebooks of Katya's diary are secured by Lyudmila Petrivna, Katya Savenko’s mother.
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