"Husband says, "I won't go to the basement. Whatever happens". I can't leave him"

I was born here. I was baptized here, in 1951. This is my home.

I worked at a construction site. I worked at a bakery, I worked at a factory. I have worked all my life. I was married two times. Both my husbands died. I buried my first husband in 1984, and the second died four years ago. There was an accident at the 96th. I took care of him for 20 years. He died four years ago. He was hit by a car. I buried my daughter. I have a son, but he is very sick. He suffers from diabetes. I myself underwent four operations. I struggled all my life.

The most terrible thing is that despite the hard life I already had, I had to witness this war. Isn't it a little too much for one person? I can't go anywhere. It is so hard.

When they start shooting, we don't know where to run. When Husband was alive, we hid in the basement. Shells were falling by the fence next door. I yelled to my son, "Run to the basement!" But he couldn't not walk fast. "Well, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens. I will lay down".

So he lay in the bedroom. I said, "Vova, come on, let's go, let's go faster." He refused to go. I couldn't leave him alone. So I grabbed the documents, stood by the stove and didn't breathe. That banging sound was unbearable. Well, thank God, only the roof was damaged. We survived. Who knows what will happen next?

Many people died during the war. It is so horrible. There are many sick people. They get sick because of this stress we have to face every day.

The house got damaged. I tried to fix it up. There were such heavy explosions that chandeliers shook. This wall has been damaged badly. We had to use some supports so that it didn't fall down. We used some pipes and boards. The roof was destroyed by fragments. We had to replace it completely. The atmosphere is tense. Today is good, but who knows what will happen tomorrow.

I get up early in the morning and go to the garden. That is my routine. It is getting harder, you know. I planted some potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots,  beets. I planted everything I could. I did my best. I left some part of the garden. I plant sunflowers and use them to heat the stove.

I can't buy firewood. I used to get UAH 1,500. Now my pension is UAH 1,700. I spent half of that money on medicine.

I need other things as well. I didn't receive any payments for four months. This is how I live. I had some potatoes and butter, that I had saved. That is how we lived.

We want meat, you know. I stll keep two hams. I can afford to buy some chicken liver. I found a spot where they sell it for UAH 40.  That is pretty much it. I bought some meat and put it in the freezer. I don't want to cook it now. I save it for a special day. For better times. I also have two hake fish in the freezer. Well, that is how we dwell.

I just wish we had something to eat and put on. I wish it got better. We all want the same thing. Not only me, but everyone else. I ask the Lord that my son got better. I ask him day and night. He is my only child. 

Let's hope everything will be fine. Once the war is over, we will feel better. I know it.