“This was horror and fear. Everyday"

And when you already see and hear with your own eyes, then you already understand the whole horror of what is happening. This is really a war.

It was scary. It was May or June 2014. There was a glow, explosions, explosions, explosions. A shell hit Svetlichnoye, it's nearby. Our water supply is from Svetlichny. And the pipes were broken there, and there was no water for a month. Then my mother was still alive, we went with her. It was necessary to pass two fields in order to get water. There was a small well there. He had to get and, bring water, because there were children at home, we needed to drink, cook, but there was no water. For almost a month, even more than a month it was like that.

Then there was no connection, no water, no internet. It was unrealistic to communicate - there was no connection. We were cut off. Nobody came here, no taxi. And for a very long time, even until 2016, taxis from Severodonetsk and Lisichansk did not even come here.

I had to go for food. Then Tina, daughter, I was still little. Even bread was no longer brought here, I remember. And it was necessary to hire a car, a private trader of some kind, to go and take the necessary baby food, diapers, bread, drinking water. That was scary.

For me, the hardest thing was when shells exploded nearby, and Tina was hysterical. She's older. Son David could not understand. For a long time, he generally thought that it was some fireworks, if not much "fireworks" were heard. And Tina ... She went into hysterics.

I was trying to calm her down. What could I tell a child? Don't worry, this is somewhere far away - the maximum. Although she heard that it was close. The hardest thing for me was that I couldn’t explain to the children what it was. It was impossible to explain to them. I was just saying that everything would stop, it was far away, they shouldn’t be afraid, I was near.

With the war, everything turned upside down for me. In the war I lost my mother, in the war my husband died, and I remained with three children. It completely turned life upside down. It was very hard.

The greatest desire is that I ask God every time to give strength. I need to get them up. Most of us live here for the sake of children, mothers, trying ... What is the most important thing now? To give them education.

Mom had cancer, it was diagnosed at the last stage. In 2015, she fell ill, 2016-2015 in our region, neither in Severodonetsk, nor in Lisichansk there was not even a blood doctor or hematologist. The consultation was very important. An accurate diagnosis could only be made by a hematologist. Unfortunately, she had leukemia. And she was diagnosed at a late stage, in two weeks she literally...

War is horror, full of disorder and horror. While the war is going on in the country, I don't think there will be order anywhere. This is scary for everyone, for children, for us, for parents. Scary for those people who are close to the contact line. Because we never know where - no one will ever warn - where the projectile will arrive and how it will develop further. Therefore, it’s horror and fear. Everyday.

We have to get out of this. But every day you wake up and ask, how is today, and what is tomorrow? Nobody is planning anything here. We lived today - well.

Every day you listen, if something explodes, when we hear shooting. Naturally, panic begins. I try to gather my children closer to home. Fear of the unknown, what's next? And in general, how are we going to be here?

To erase this devastation from memory. Every time I look at our houses, on the way they are sprinkled with fragments, somewhere there is no roof, somewhere there is no middle of the house at all - this is horror. I was born here, I grew up here, I remember how it was before and how it is now. It's scary to remain here where nobody needs you. I would like to forget everything, see what the village used to be, and remember.

It's hard to work here, most of people are pensioners. There is no work here. How many are there in the village? Five stores, each with two sellers. This is all work. Small administration, several people. There is no work here. Many would like to work in Lisichansk, Severodonetsk, but there is no transport - there is nothing to get there. And how can I leave children? At work, I will constantly think about them, I will call here: what if they are shooting?

During the most difficult times, there were many humanitarian organizations here. They helped everyone: with food and hygiene bags, we were given a warm blanket at a time when there was no light for three or four months. Mostly people survived on humanitarian organizations.

It was impossible to leave. There were problems with ATMs, money, banks, everything was closed. Even if you had some savings, it was impossible to withdraw them. It was hard.

Now it’s hart too. Most of even young families are now living on whose expense? At the expense of retirees, dad and mom. If someone has the opportunity, they go somewhere to work. Here, young guys are leaving the village even for the Czech Republic, Poland, because they have a family here, they need it. Most leave or stay at the expense of the miners' parental pensions.

I have three children. For example, they got sick. Our pharmacy does not always bring what is needed. I try to go to the city once a month and spend 1,500 on medicines for different ages - up to three years old, from three years old and already an adult child. And that it was an antibiotic just in case, and from poisoning, and cough syrups.

Most of the pensioners here are sick; they live on pills. The pension is spent practically on pills. The only plus is that everyone here knows each other and [people in] the shops know. You can make it somehow, they will write down a debt to you, then you get the money and give it back.

I get help from Rinat Akhmetov. It would be harder without it, it is very important here. They don't stop working right from the start. Children have a sweet tooth. That bag contains sugar, sweets. When David was little, he was waiting. I bring the package. They immediately go there - oops, but what is there? I would like to thank Rinat Akhmetov not even for myself, but for our children. So many children did he help! Most of the people even from local village, I doubt that someone would help even one child. This man, he has a heart of gold.

And I also like UNICEF, they go to the kids with classes. Psychologists come, and they help children with toys, and arrange holidays. Tina loves to draw, she gets distracted this way.

I dream that the war will end. Maybe someone is dreaming of some new thing, but we want there to be silence. I want me to be able to send my children to school safely, so that they could safely go home by themselves. So that they could take a walk themselves, and I would not worry if something banged somewhere. That’s, I should run at once for the children. I wish them to have normal development. So that there were many children, there are few children here.