Stories that you confided to us

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Stories that you confided to us

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Ihor Malyshev
"Something broke inside because of the war. I feel emply"

I had a chance to meet the first echoes of the war back in April 2014. I undertook inpatient treatment in Khartsyzk at the time. A few boys were brought. They were driving a car and got fired at by unknown people.

War is madness, grief, cold, destruction, fear, panic. This is something that should never happen to anyone.

The most brutal events unfolded a little later. After all, Khartsyzk is only 20 kilometers from Illovaisk.

We felt all the aggravations that were associated with the Battle of Ilovaisk.

I remember 24 August 2014 - Independence Day of Ukraine. Bullets flew over our heads, and the windows rattled from exploding shells. The attacks were heard the whole day non-stop.

What do people who live withing the war zone range think and say?

People want peace and stability.

The hardest test is not knowing what is happening to your family, when the attack will happen, when you cannot get through to your family …

My family: me, my wife Iryna, my son Vladyslav 23 years old. My wife and I lived for many years in Nyzhnia Krynka, a small village near Khartsyzk. Our parents lived there.

Something broke inside because of the war. I feel emply

My wife's mother and father are disabled and need constant care. It was not possible to visit them – special passes were required, and we didn't have them. And it was a big risk, because the road there was under fire, and we could not get past the checkpoints.

One day I did manage to persuade a taxi driver take my wife there. I couldn't get through. She didn't call for a day or two… On the third day, I couldn't stand it any longer, started my car and decided to go without a pass at my own risk and peril. When my wife was at the exit from the city, she called and said that they were alive. The phone died because there was no electricity. Only now they were able to turn on the generators and recharge it.

It's hard to remember all this and not convey what I was feeling. It was only in the autumn that my wife's parents were barely able to move to our home.

The first days of September were peaceful. We had a dacha in a 20-minute walk from the house. We had to eat something. So my wife and I decided that we did not want to harm the vegetables we planted in the spring, so I went to the dacha to dig up some potatoes.

I remember when it was already coming to an end, we were glad that there were no attacks.And then it started again.

The blasts were so strong that our house, where my wife was hiding, was in a flurry. She ran out into the street and was lost. I yell at her," Get down on the ground!"

I was at the end of the garden. Two mines exploded in our garden - managed to survive by a miracle.

Something broke inside because of the war. I feel emply

It is unlikely that I will ever be able to forget all the troubles, worries, and experiences that the war brought. It's especially hard to remember events when you didn't know what happened to your family. At the beginning of the war, my son still periodically came from Kharkiv to visit us. One time he was detained at the checkpoint. We didn't know where he was or what was wrong with him for more than five hours. After this incident, we decided that it was best if he did not come home to Khartsyzk. And later we moved to him in Kharkiv.

Previously, before the war, there was a constant desire – all the time I wanted something more. I always did something, I tried to earn more to provide greater benefits for my family. Now something inside me broke. I feel empty.

Something broke inside because of the war. I feel emply

The war took away my ability to build my life in my home. It forced my wife and me to leave our home.

There is nothing less or more terrible in the time of war. Everything about it is scary.

Now I understand how happy we were then, before the war. I really want that feeling of happiness to return.

I began to appreciate life more. My family, their life and health are the most important thing for me.

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